make sure you use something oil or petroleum based. water based lotions are garbage when it comes to truly dry skin. one of my friends swears by using coconut oil for dry spots but i don’t have personal experience with that.
well shit, all i’ve got is water-based lotion. why does no one teach me these important life lessons??? blerg, guess i gotta go to walmart tomorrow and get something grosser
I feel like our family utterly failed us on all healthcare, social convention, hygiene, etc topics. I have run into this issue so many times. Laundry, shaving, cleaning, etc. I just feel like a child bumbling around a lot of the time.
Ask UfYH: You Can Go Home Again, But Not to Clean It
Q: My parents’ house is a horrible mess. There are piles of crap everywhere, some of which hasn’t been touched in 20 years, and going home actively causes me anxiety. Every time I go home for a holiday, I end up doing nothing but 45/15s — and they THANK…
Every time I’m at their house all I want to do is clean. What I have realized, though, is that cleaning their house will not fix the problem. The problem is that I am thinking I can control someone else or their stuff/environment in a way that is inappropriate. Mom and dads house is not my house. I need to learn to take a step back and realize that despite how much I would like it to be clean I cannot will that to happen just as much as I can’t will a coworker of mine to be neater or shower more frequently. Her desk is not mine and I have no authority over it just like her body is not mine.
When I go to mom and dad’s house I try to keep my sleeping space as clean as possible and offer to help with things that are too heavy for them to do but I have begun to realize that any more pushing/assistance from me might be temporarily relieving for my anxiety but is, overall, destructive to my relationships with them.
Just took a reading test from Staples and confirmed that I am still a slower-than-average reader. I mean, I read a LOT, and I love it, and I’ve gotten much faster over the years. But while my dyslexia is mild, it is not something I’ll ever get over, I guess.
You can test yourself here, just remember that these tests don’t really say anything about how smart you are or your potential for success or whatever. I like to think that whatever neurological weirdness makes it hard for me to process written words also gives me a different way of looking at the world that gives more than it takes.
First of all, I would like to say that I am positive (positive!) that you are not a lazy asshole. I think that crippling anxiety runs in our family and for each person it manifests itself differently. Even though it isn’t a comfortable thing, working with a professional (a therapist) to learn how to effectively manage my anxiety has done me wonders. I would recommend the same.
Also, about grad school, I wish I had taken some time to figure it all out before I went because motivation in grad school is king. I don’t think you are a failure if you choose not to go. In fact, I think that any decision you make with a clear head and with what you want in mind is the best choice and I will root for you the whole way.
A bit of advice though, I know that your brain wants you to make the anxiety stimulus go away as quickly as possible but try not to base your choices on that. If you choose not to apply, don’t take a mental break. Jump into actually looking into the other options before you go back into avoid-y land because it is much harder to get out of there and into the thinking about it place (trust me, I know this one from experience).
I love you a lot and support whatever you choose. If you want to actually talk about any of this we can skype, call, message, skype chat, email, tumblr ask box, etc.